I’ll admit right off… these may not be the most clever Halloween costume ideas, but they serve the purpose. They also worked really well for me (er, my kid) in a pinch! So let’s start, shall we?

Black-eyed P

The most benign and easy of the three ideas presented here, the black-eyed P simply works. This is especially cute for the really young treaters.

Use makeup or special Halloween face paint and apply it to one eye. Black, purple and blue, or a combination of the three works best. Next, attach one -or- many letter P’s to the front of a T-shirt. The P’s can come from a craft store, magazines, a letterman jacket or other.

Road Kill

Ah, fond memories of road kill… What?

This is a great costume for guessing games. Some will recognize the idea right away but it will keep most people guessing for a few minutes or more. The idea is to become road kill, and it’s actually very easy.

Get a large T-shirt. Most any color works, white being best to show blood and gore, black being best to represent asphalt. Down the chest of the shirt, either draw, paint, or tape on a dashed yellow line to represent the line on a black-top road. A yellow highlighter works on a white shirt while yellow paint will work on any color. (Tip: use inexpensive craft paint or use special Halloween paint markers and crayons.)

Next, grab your least-favorite stuffed animal (or purchase a cheap one from a thrift store). A small one works best. Rip into the teddy making jagged, uneven tears (begin the first tear with scissors). Pull out some of the stuffing and let it hang loosely from the animal. Save a handful of stuffing and set aside for later. For added effect, pop out an eye. Attach the mauled teddy with a safety pin to the shirt.

Next is the blood and gore. Using special Halloween blood or bloody red craft paint, paint on streaks and pools of blood on the shirt, the stuffed animal, and yourself, face and all. Take the wad of stuffing left over and paint it red as well, tearing it apart into smaller chunks if you’d like (this is the gore part). After the wads of stuffing have dried a bit, safety pin or glue them onto the shirt. If you’re really creative, you can paint on some tire tracks onto the side of your face with black paint.

Doc Tormented

We had fun with this one. Doc Tormented… get it? Doctor plus Tormented? Clever, huh?

This idea is so simple that anyone could pass with it. The hardest part will be collecting the items. If you have any healthcare friends who owe you a favor, it may not be too difficult.

Think about all the items a doctor might carry around: ink pen, clipboard, stethoscope, reflector headpiece, lab coat/jacket, scrubs, gloves, mask, cap, gown, booties, even a thermometer or a medical bag. Think about an eeeeeevil doctor who might carry around a small brain in a jar, perhaps a liver, bloody this and that, a spare finger where his pen should be, or even an eyeball or two.

Be sure to add a few scars to the face, hands and arms to show a doctor who has botched a surgery. Even better, wrap the fingers in ratty white bandages and paint on some areas of blood. Nothing worse than a doctor with bloodied hands approaching you!

If you can stomach the idea, grab some bottled water and add a nice dose of red food coloring. Walk around while sipping on your bloody potion.

To really pull off the “tormented” part, frequently mumble incoherently to yourself, look down at the ground and shake your head.

(Note: avoid sharps like scapels and needles!)